Many of us have a story about who our spouse is, and it often begins with labels like these: An emotionally unavailable partner. A drama queen. A control freak or a hothead. A people pleaser, slob, or know-it-all. An obsessive perfectionist or an irresponsible procrastinator. Though you may be nodding your head emphatically in recognition, these labels don’t tell the whole story. You live with a person: a complex, ever-changing human being with a tendency to act in certain ways based on past...

Dating can be exciting and meaningful, and it can also feel draining, confusing, and overwhelming. One day you're optimistic about a new shidduch, and the next you're replaying every conversation in your head, doubting his middot, and questioning whether you’re ever going to find the right person. While we can't eliminate the uncertainty that comes with dating, we can change how we respond to it. During this roller-coaster ride we call dating, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) provides...

If you spend five minutes on the internet today, you might start to believe your behaviors and quirky habits are caused by a long list of mysterious diagnoses. Social media is overflowing with quizzes and captions meant to catch our attention and create unnecessary worry: Take this quiz to find out if you’re a narcissist. Here are five unexpected signs that you have multiple personalities. Here are the daily habits most often seen in psychopaths. By the time you finish scrolling, you might be...

“Think before you speak” is an expression that is frequently thrown around, usually to remind us to communicate with kindness and consideration. But this expression has an alternative meaning that is equally important: our conversations are more likely to be effective and helpful to both parties when we approach our interactions with a clear goal in mind. To illustrate this point, imagine the following scenario. One day you walk into a café to buy a coffee before a morning meeting, and you...

Negative emotions are like weeds in a garden. No matter how often we try to pull them out, they inevitably grow back. While it’s easy to become frustrated by the stubbornness of emotional pain, that frustration often leads to unnecessary suffering. The more energy we expend trying to fight against our negative emotions, the bigger they tend to become. When we blindly resist all negative emotions, we also miss out on the usefulness of our feelings and sensations. Though many view emotions as...

Have you ever found yourself apologizing for something you most definitely weren’t sorry for? Have you ever agreed or politely nodded along to an opinion that you strongly disagreed with, simply because you didn’t want to ruffle any feathers? How about completing a favor for someone else when you were already overloaded, not out of genuine kindness but fear of being disliked? If your answer to these questions is a resounding YES, you may be prioritizing external approval over your...

Most of us have experienced days when our emotional coping tanks feel like they’re running on empty. Minor inconveniences such as a coffee spill, a passive-aggressive email from a colleague, or a flat tire might feel like the final straw, leading to extreme frustration, a rush of tears, or even an angry outburst. For some of us, living in this heightened state of emotional vulnerability is the norm. If a slight nuisance often feels like an insurmountable obstacle to you, you might be...

If you ever scroll through social media reels or read a self-help book these days, odds are you’ve come across the word validation. Whether or not we can define the word off-the-cuff, most of us have felt its power at one point in our lives: the comfort and relief that comes from someone recognizing our internal experience and confirming that our thoughts or feelings are understandable and real. As relational beings, we knowingly or unknowingly crave this recognition from birth. Babies rely...

Postpartum anxiety is extremely common, yet many new mothers struggle to recognize when their “maternal instincts” and natural protectiveness cross over into an unhelpful preoccupation with their baby’s safety. Part of the confusion stems from the crucial emphasis on child safety reinforced by hospital staff, pediatricians, well-meaning bubbies , and even distant relatives and acquaintances. Whether or not it’s appropriate for your great-aunt-twice removed to weigh in on your swaddling...

With Chagim around the corner, we often find ourselves as preoccupied with meals and recipes as we are with repentance. From...