As the school year is coming to an end, and the transition to summer is beginning, perhaps both feelings of excitement and nervousness are creeping in. When schedules change, feeling excitement about the possibility of rejuvenation, and nervous about the lack of routine, both make a lot of sense. While you are still in that transition phase, thinking about the reality of your summer, and places that you might get caught up in, is critical to a successful and relaxing vacation. In DBT, there...

One of the modules in DBT is called “Interpersonal Effectiveness.” This module teaches skills on how to communicate a need/objective in an effective way. Prior to having a conversation with someone else, there are a few questions that you want to ask yourself. How important is this goal to me? How important is maintaining this relationship to me? How will I be able to maintain my self respect during this interaction? When going about having the conversation, there are different skills for...

We all have those days when we just don’t want to do, well, anything. Perhaps you had a busy week, didn’t get much sleep the night before, or feel like you need a vacation. Every so often, taking the time to recharge and reset, can actually give you the boost that you need for the next while. However, there may be times when everything just feels like too much, and this feeling lasts for a while. Maybe you are struggling with depression or maybe you’ve just had a rough few weeks. Either way,...

One of the four modules of dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) is emotion regulation. The foundation to any emotion regulation skill is identifying the emotion that you are feeling, and how that emotion manifests itself. Once you understand why an emotion is coming up and what the sensations that come along with it, you can begin using skills to regulate that emotion. Have you ever felt like you just want to hide? Likely, the emotion of shame is causing you this emotional response. Let’s...

In order to know which direction to go in, you have to know where you want to end up. There is a very wise anecdote from the childhood story Alice In Wonderland. Alice is lost and is at a fork in the road, there she sees Cheshire Cat. The exchange goes as follows: Alice asks the cat which way she should go. He responds by asking her where she is trying to get to. Alice says, “oh it doesn’t really matter.” And then Cheshire Cat says, “well then it doesn’t matter which way you go.” While this...

And just like that, Pesach is only one short day away. Between the cleaning, list-making, shopping, and cooking, the question of what Nissan is really about may have slipped into the back of your mind. Like every time in the Jewish year, there are different themes that we can tap into to help us connect to that time. When the month of Nissan comes around, it is a z’man cheiruseinu , a time of freedom. I don’t know about you, but this year especially, I have been struggling to understand how...

Have you ever felt like a fraud? Or that the praise other people give you doesn’t seem to match how you view yourself? We’ve all felt like this to some degree, and the higher our expectations of ourselves, the more likely we’ll be to feel this way. This experience is commonly referred to as “impostor syndrome.” While this phrase became popular over the past twenty years, it was coined by psychologists in the 1970s to describe the phenomenon of high achieving individuals who constantly doubt...

As I sat down Saturday night, it suddenly dawned on me that next week is Rosh Chodesh Adar. Since I was little I’ve heard, mi shenichnas Adar marbim b’simcha , that when the month of Adar comes around, we should increase our happiness. I don’t know about you, but this has always felt a little daunting to me. How should I increase my happiness? What if I’m just not feeling it? What does happiness even mean? I was looking for concrete actions that I could do to raise my happiness during this...

What are cognitive distortions? Cognitive distortions are unhelpful or irrational thought patterns that alter how we see both the world and ourselves. Holding onto these patterns reinforces unhelpful thinking and can contribute to anxiety, depression, and low self esteem. One of these thought patterns is called all or nothing thinking . This is the tendency to see things as one way or the other – “ if I mess up, I am a failure .” “ I lost my temper, therefore I am an angry person.” “If I...

It’s that time of year – school is heading out and sunscreen is coming on. Whether vacation just passed, is actively happening, or is rapidly approaching, this time of year brings its own kind of challenges. Rained out activities, kids fighting, and lack of structure may end up leaving you frustrated. The question becomes, how do we cope when expectations and realities don’t line up? 1. Clarify expectations in advance It is hard to not get caught up in the nitty gritty details of it all –...