If you’ve ever played the arcade game Whac-A-Mole , you know the drill: little moles pop up unexpectedly, and your job is to smack them down as fast as possible. The faster you hit, the faster they seem to appear. Just when you think you’ve gotten them under control—pop!—another one springs up. Anxiety can feel a lot like that game. Uncomfortable thoughts, worries, and physical sensations pop up suddenly: What if I embarrass myself? What if something goes wrong? Why is my hea

If anxiety were in charge of your life, it would have one clear goal: keep you safe at all costs. Don’t say the wrong thing. Don’t take risks. Don’t feel uncomfortable. Don’t fail. Don’t get hurt. While anxiety means well, when it becomes the decision-maker, life often gets smaller. Opportunities shrink. Relationships feel constrained. Joy gets postponed until “someday, when I feel better.” When anxiety runs your life, decisions sound like: “I’ll do that once I’m less anxious

As I sat down Saturday night, it suddenly dawned on me that next week is Rosh Chodesh Adar. Since I was little I’ve heard, mi shenichnas Adar marbim b’simcha , that when the month of Adar comes around, we should increase our happiness. I don’t know about you, but this has always felt a little daunting to me. How should I increase my happiness? What if I’m just not feeling it? What does happiness even mean?  I was looking for concrete actions that I could do to raise my happin

Have you ever found yourself apologizing for something you most definitely weren’t sorry for? Have you ever agreed or politely nodded along to an opinion that you strongly disagreed with, simply because you didn’t want to ruffle any feathers? How about completing a favor for someone else when you were already overloaded, not out of genuine kindness but fear of being disliked? If your answer to these questions is a resounding YES, you may be prioritizing external approval over

What are cognitive distortions? Cognitive distortions are unhelpful or irrational thought patterns that alter how we see both the world and ourselves. Holding onto these patterns reinforces unhelpful thinking and can contribute to anxiety, depression, and low self esteem. One of these thought patterns is called all or nothing thinking . This is the tendency to see things as one way or the other – “ if I mess up, I am a failure .” “ I lost my temper, therefore I am an angry pe

Most of us have experienced days when our emotional coping tanks feel like they’re running on empty. Minor inconveniences such as a coffee spill, a passive-aggressive email from a colleague, or a flat tire might feel like the final straw, leading to extreme frustration, a rush of tears, or even an angry outburst. For some of us, living in this heightened state of emotional vulnerability is the norm. If a slight nuisance often feels like an insurmountable obstacle to you, you

Every behavior serves a purpose or function. As human beings with free choice, we act purposefully and to fill a need whether or not we are fully aware of it. Understanding the function of a behavior will help us understand the reason behind the action and how we can handle unhelpful behaviors in ourselves and those around us.  Most functions of behavior fall into four categories, with the acronym EATS: Function #1 - E scape Sometimes things feel so overwhelming that we just

If you ever scroll through social media reels or read a self-help book these days, odds are you’ve come across the word validation. Whether or not we can define the word off-the-cuff, most of us have felt its power at one point in our lives: the comfort and relief that comes from someone recognizing our internal experience and confirming that our thoughts or feelings are understandable and real. As relational beings, we knowingly or unknowingly crave this recognition from bir

It’s that time of year – school is heading out and sunscreen is coming on. Whether vacation just passed, is actively happening, or is rapidly approaching, this time of year brings its own kind of challenges. Rained out activities, kids fighting, and lack of structure may end up leaving you frustrated.  The question becomes, how do we cope when expectations and realities don’t line up? 1. Clarify expectations in advance It is hard to not get caught up in the nitty gritty detai

Did you ever find yourself halfway through your day and realize… you weren’t really there for most of it? Maybe your body was in the meeting, on the call, or driving the car, but your mind? Somewhere between your to-do list, a weird comment someone made, and what you’re going to cook for dinner. You are not alone. Most of us are living in fast-forward. We are fast-paced, multitasking, and always thinking about something else. And that’s exactly where mindfulness comes in. In

You might not have known this, but going to therapy is like getting involved in a relationship.  Like all good relationships, you want to make sure it’s productive and healthy. Unlike all good relationships, though, therapy shouldn’t be a forever-thing. In therapy, a goal should be set and worked toward.  To ensure you have a healthy, productive, and goal-driven therapeutic relationship, you should ask questions that help you clarify what you’re looking to get out of therapy.

As the days grow shorter and the cold builds up, many people notice a shift in their mood, energy, and motivation. The winter months can feel heavy. There is less sunlight, and a change in routines, which can lead to withdrawal from the cold weather, and what is commonly referred to as the “winter blues.” For some, this may show up as low mood or fatigue. Our nervous systems are deeply influenced by light, circadian rhythm, and connection. When those are reduced, it makes sen

Have you been feeling flooded recently? I have– and for me it came suddenly. From one day to the next, there were suddenly midterm exams, term papers, research papers, upcoming finals, graduate school decisions, and of course a myriad of other non-college related responsibilities that seemed to appear out of nowhere.  Other than breaking each task into tiny manageable tasks and drowning in to-do lists, I figured there had  to be a quick and easy way to combat the giant inner

It’s amazing how quickly the mind picks up habits. Some stick around because they’re helpful, and others stay simply because they’re familiar. Many people come into therapy feeling frustrated that they “know better” but still slip into the same reactions or thought loops. The truth is that the brain doesn’t change just because we want it to. It changes through repetition and practice. That’s where therapies like CBT and DBT come in. They give the brain a new roadmap. One of t

So, what actually is Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)?  If you’re like me, you've probably run into a lot of long articles and blog posts about DBT that are intimidating, hard to read, and ultimately leave you with very little clarity. But what if you don't have the time to sift through multiple articles just to gain a better understanding? Well, that’s what this is for. My plan to get this explanation right involves two simple steps: understanding the terms, and understa

We all go through times when everything just feels… blah.  You’re not exactly sad, but you’re not excited either. Things you usually enjoy feel flat, and even small tasks start to feel like too much effort. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone—everyone hits these dips sometimes. From a CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) point of view, that lack of motivation isn’t laziness or a character flaw. It’s usually part of a cycle. When you feel low, you naturally pull back from

Postpartum anxiety is extremely common, yet many new mothers struggle to recognize when their “maternal instincts” and natural protectiveness cross over into an unhelpful preoccupation with their baby’s safety. Part of the confusion stems from the crucial emphasis on child safety reinforced by hospital staff, pediatricians, well-meaning bubbies , and even distant relatives and acquaintances. Whether or not it’s appropriate for your great-aunt-twice removed to weigh in on your

Lessons From My Visit to מרפאת תעצומות, the IDF’s New PTSD Unit Dr. Ben Langstein visiting the IDF’s New PTSD Unit Living in Israel has opened up some truly unique professional experiences for me as a therapist trained in military and civilian trauma care. Just recently, I was invited to speak to a new trauma unit within the Israeli army, מרפאת תעצומות (Mirpa’at Ta’Atzumot), loosely translated as “Clinic of Strength.” Yesterday, I was able to visit the clinic and see their wo

One of the first things people notice when they start CBT is how much we talk about thoughts, emotions, and urges. They’re three distinct building blocks of our inner experience, but they can easily get tangled together. Taking time to tell them apart is actually one of the most powerful ways to gain self-awareness and emotional balance. Thoughts: The Stories Our Mind Tells Thoughts are the words or pictures that show up in your mind. They’re the running commentary that inter

We now stand at the crossroads of both joy and sorrow.  For many of us, we are experiencing incredible joy at the release of the living hostages, and what is hopefully a close to this painful chapter. However, we also feel deep sorrow for the hostages who have not yet been released, the reality we face in burying the deceased hostages, and for all those who have lost loved ones in battle and throughout this conflict. Somehow, we’re expected to feel both.  The question is, how

As the month winds down, many people expect to feel refreshed and ready to dive back into everyday life. But instead, it’s common to feel tired, scattered, or emotionally flat. After weeks of seudos, family gatherings, and spiritual focus, it takes time to find your balance again. Many expect to feel uplifted and renewed once the Yomim Tovim end, but often, what follows isn’t inspiration; it’s exhaustion. If you’re feeling drained, unmotivated, or irritable after Rosh Hashana

With Chagim  around the corner, we often find ourselves as preoccupied with meals and recipes as we are with repentance. From...

As we walk through the streets during this time of year, a sound carries through the air. You don’t have to be inside a shul to hear it....

Have you ever experienced guilt for failing to feel? If you’re Jewish, the answer is likely, “yes.”  For me this experience comes up...