Understand two evidence‑based trauma therapies, how they differ, and how to choose what fits your situation. When it comes to trauma, there is not one typical, expected, or appropriate response. Due to the unique nature of every human being, two people can experience the exact same event and may emerge very differently from one another. This attests to the unique process by which some people develop PTSD while others do not. There are a host of factors that beget this diagnos

When you’re feeling overwhelming emotions, it can feel like a tornado. You might find yourself struggling to find the words to describe what you’re feeling. It might feel as if everything is moving too quickly for you to pinpoint what’s actually happening. The wedding is starting in twenty minutes, and you’re stuck in standstill traffic. You took on way too much at work, and it’s catching up with you. Your friend is upset with you and you have no idea how to fix it. The feeli

If you've been exploring treatment options for emotion dysregulation, intense emotions, self-destructive behaviors, chronic anxiety, trauma, or borderline personality disorder (BPD), you've probably encountered Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). Because DBT has become widely known, many therapists now describe themselves as "using DBT." However, teaching some DBT skills is very different from providing comprehensive DBT as it was originally developed, and as decades of resea

If you spend five minutes on the internet today, you might start to believe your behaviors and quirky habits are caused by a long list of mysterious diagnoses. Social media is overflowing with quizzes and captions meant to catch our attention and create unnecessary worry: Take this quiz to find out if you’re a narcissist. Here are five unexpected signs that you have multiple personalities. Here are the daily habits most often seen in psychopaths. By the time you finish scroll

“Think before you speak” is an expression that is frequently thrown around, usually to remind us to communicate with kindness and consideration. But this expression has an alternative meaning that is equally important: our conversations are more likely to be effective and helpful to both parties when we approach our interactions with a clear goal in mind. To illustrate this point, imagine the following scenario. One day you walk into a café to buy a coffee before a morning me

Many people struggle to validate effectively because they believe it means agreeing with the other person. If a friend is upset over something that seems minor, if a partner interprets a situation differently than we do, or if a child is having a big reaction to a small disappointment, we may worry that validation reinforces irrational thinking or inappropriate behavior. In reality, validation and agreement are not the same thing. Validation is the act of communicating that a

As the school year is coming to an end, and the transition to summer is beginning, perhaps both feelings of excitement and nervousness are creeping in. When schedules change, feeling excitement about the possibility of rejuvenation, and nervous about the lack of routine, both make a lot of sense. While you are still in that transition phase, thinking about the reality of your summer, and places that you might get caught up in, is critical to a successful and relaxing vacation

One of the modules in DBT is called “Interpersonal Effectiveness.” This module teaches skills on how to communicate a need/objective in an effective way. Prior to having a conversation with someone else, there are a few questions that you want to ask yourself. How important is this goal to me? How important is maintaining this relationship to me? How will I be able to maintain my self respect during this interaction? When going about having the conversation, there are differ

One of the four modules of dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) is emotion regulation. The foundation to any emotion regulation skill is identifying the emotion that you are feeling, and how that emotion manifests itself. Once you understand why an emotion is coming up and what the sensations that come along with it, you can begin using skills to regulate that emotion. Have you ever felt like you just want to hide? Likely, the emotion of shame is causing you this emotional r

Negative emotions are like weeds in a garden. No matter how often we try to pull them out, they inevitably grow back. While it’s easy to become frustrated by the stubbornness of emotional pain, that frustration often leads to unnecessary suffering. The more energy we expend trying to fight against our negative emotions, the bigger they tend to become. When we blindly resist all negative emotions, we also miss out on the usefulness of our feelings and sensations. Though many v

And just like that, Pesach is only one short day away. Between the cleaning, list-making, shopping, and cooking, the question of what Nissan is really about may have slipped into the back of your mind. Like every time in the Jewish year, there are different themes that we can tap into to help us connect to that time. When the month of Nissan comes around, it is a z’man cheiruseinu , a time of freedom. I don’t know about you, but this year especially, I have been struggling to

We all know someone who feels things deeply. Maybe that someone is you. Intense joy. Sharp disappointment. Big love. Big anger. But when does “I feel things strongly” cross into emotional dysregulation? Understanding the difference matters because strong emotions are not a problem in themselves. We live in a culture that often labels emotional intensity as “too much.” But feeling deeply is not inherently unhealthy. In fact, emotional intensity can be a strength. Some people e

A Deeper Dive into DEARMAN: A DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness Skill Do you struggle to get your needs met or feel heard in a relationship? Many people struggle not because they’re asking for too much - but because they’re not asking at all! You might: Hint instead of asking directly Say yes when you mean no Feel guilty for having needs Avoid speaking up until you’re overwhelmed Explode after holding things in for too long DBT offers a skill specifically designed to help wit

As I sat down Saturday night, it suddenly dawned on me that next week is Rosh Chodesh Adar. Since I was little I’ve heard, mi shenichnas Adar marbim b’simcha , that when the month of Adar comes around, we should increase our happiness. I don’t know about you, but this has always felt a little daunting to me. How should I increase my happiness? What if I’m just not feeling it? What does happiness even mean? I was looking for concrete actions that I could do to raise my happin

Have you ever found yourself apologizing for something you most definitely weren’t sorry for? Have you ever agreed or politely nodded along to an opinion that you strongly disagreed with, simply because you didn’t want to ruffle any feathers? How about completing a favor for someone else when you were already overloaded, not out of genuine kindness but fear of being disliked? If your answer to these questions is a resounding YES, you may be prioritizing external approval over

Most of us have experienced days when our emotional coping tanks feel like they’re running on empty. Minor inconveniences such as a coffee spill, a passive-aggressive email from a colleague, or a flat tire might feel like the final straw, leading to extreme frustration, a rush of tears, or even an angry outburst. For some of us, living in this heightened state of emotional vulnerability is the norm. If a slight nuisance often feels like an insurmountable obstacle to you, you

Every behavior serves a purpose or function. As human beings with free choice, we act purposefully and to fill a need whether or not we are fully aware of it. Understanding the function of a behavior will help us understand the reason behind the action and how we can handle unhelpful behaviors in ourselves and those around us. Most functions of behavior fall into four categories, with the acronym EATS: Function #1 - E scape Sometimes things feel so overwhelming that we just

If you ever scroll through social media reels or read a self-help book these days, odds are you’ve come across the word validation. Whether or not we can define the word off-the-cuff, most of us have felt its power at one point in our lives: the comfort and relief that comes from someone recognizing our internal experience and confirming that our thoughts or feelings are understandable and real. As relational beings, we knowingly or unknowingly crave this recognition from bir

As the days grow shorter and the cold builds up, many people notice a shift in their mood, energy, and motivation. The winter months can feel heavy. There is less sunlight, and a change in routines, which can lead to withdrawal from the cold weather, and what is commonly referred to as the “winter blues.” For some, this may show up as low mood or fatigue. Our nervous systems are deeply influenced by light, circadian rhythm, and connection. When those are reduced, it makes sen

Have you been feeling flooded recently? I have– and for me it came suddenly. From one day to the next, there were suddenly midterm exams, term papers, research papers, upcoming finals, graduate school decisions, and of course a myriad of other non-college related responsibilities that seemed to appear out of nowhere. Other than breaking each task into tiny manageable tasks and drowning in to-do lists, I figured there had to be a quick and easy way to combat the giant inner