Sefira: Counting Up, Growing Whole

You know that feeling when you want two things that seem to contradict each other? When you're pulled in two directions at once?

Maybe you feel proud of how far you’ve come - and still overwhelmed by how far you have to go.

Maybe you love your child with your whole heart - and still find yourself frustrated or worn thin.

Maybe you laugh at a joke through tears - because part of you is still hurting.

That space — that messy, beautiful in-between where emotions don’t line up neatly but still co-exist — is deeply human.

And it’s sacred.

That’s where real growth happens.

In Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), this is called dialectical thinking — the ability to hold two opposing ideas or feelings at the same time, and see that both can be true.

You can love someone and still feel angry with them.

You can be grateful and still grieving.

You can be doing your best, and still have room to grow or healing to do.

It’s about shifting from either/or to both/and.

Which brings me to... Sefiras HaOmer.

A Daily Invitation to Grow

Sefiras HaOmer is the time when we count the 49 days between Pesach (freedom) and Shavuos (receiving the Torah).

It’s not just about counting time — it’s about making time count.

Each of the 49 days is counted, one by one, and each is connected to a unique combination of middos: chesed, gevurah, tiferes, netzach, hod, yesod, and malchus.

Each day becomes a quiet invitation to ask:

Where am I thriving? Where am I stretched too thin? Am I leaning too far in one direction and forgetting the other?

Often, the combinations of middos are complex — sometimes they even feel like opposites.

One day might call for gevurah shebechesed — discipline within kindness.

Another might ask for chesed shebegevurah — compassion within strength.

These aren’t easy pairings. But they’re deeply human.

They stretch us.

They invite us to find the balance within — and to grow from it.

You Can Be Sad and Whole. You Can Be Healing and Still Hurting.

This is the gift of dialectical thinking. And it’s at the heart of real growth.

You don’t have to wait until everything is “together” to move forward.

You don’t have to choose between joy or sorrow, strength or softness, faith or doubt.

You can be in the process and still have value.

You can feel messy and still be making progress.

You are human — fully, deeply human.

And that is a dialectic.

Walking the Path, One Day at a Time

The Omer doesn’t ask us to leap. It asks us to count up — one step at a time.

It reminds us that growth is slow, layered, and honest.

It’s not about flipping a switch. It’s about quiet, steady course corrections — a daily check-in with yourself.

We don’t count down the Omer — we count up.

We don’t focus on how far we still have to go — we pause to see how far we’ve already come.

Every day is a win.

Every step is sacred.

So whether you’re a parent navigating conflicting roles, a teen finding your footing, or simply someone quietly trying to grow — this 49-day stretch offers a map.

A chance to reflect, recalibrate, and return to balance.

There’s no need to pick a side.

No reason to shut off parts of your heart just to move through the world.

You can hold opposites. You already do.

That’s what makes you whole.

That’s what it means to be alive.

You don’t have to be all strength or all softness.

You can be both.

That’s dialectics.

That’s the work of becoming whole.