Permission to Pause: Why Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

There’s something I hear over and over again from women, especially those juggling parenting, work, caregiving, and everything in between. It goes something like this: “I feel guilty taking time for myself.” Or just as often: “I don’t have time to breathe.”

Even something as simple as stepping away for a quiet moment, going on a short walk, or

choosing not to multitask can stir up all kinds of resistance. Am I being selfish? I have so much to do- Shouldn’t I be doing something more productive? There is too much that needs to get done.

Whether it’s guilt or just the sheer pace of life, so many of us push our own needs to the bottom of the list, sometimes without even realizing it.

But here’s the truth: taking care of yourself doesn’t take away from the people you love. It

strengthens how you show up for them.

Rest is not a luxury. It’s not something you earn when everything else is done (and let’s be

honest, everything else is never done). It’s a basic need. And it deserves space.

You can’t pour from an empty cup. When we run ourselves into the ground, it doesn’t just hurt us; it affects how we show up for the people and roles we care about. We lose patience more quickly. We start to feel numb, disconnected, or overwhelmed. And the parts of life that once felt meaningful begin to feel like obligations.

What I’ve learned and keep re-learning is that even the smallest acts of care toward ourselves can shift everything. You don’t need a weekend away or hours of free time. Sometimes it’s just a pause, a few quiet minutes where you allow yourself to just be.

That’s where mindfulness comes in.

Even when you truly don’t have much time, you can still take two minutes to check in with

yourself. Sit down, close your eyes, and notice your breath. Feel your feet on the floor. Listen to the sounds around you. Let your shoulders drop. That’s it. You don’t have to change anything.

You’re just noticing. You’re giving yourself permission to be a person, not just a provider,

planner, or problem-solver.

These small, mindful moments give us room to exhale. And in that breath, something softens.

We remember ourselves. We reset.

So what does it look like to make space for yourself, even in the middle of everything else?

• Choosing a short walk instead of folding laundry, knowing the laundry can wait, but your

  sanity can’t

• Leaving your phone in the other room while you eat

• Saying no to one more thing, not because you “can’t,” but because you don’t have to

• Stopping to ask yourself: What do I need right now?

If it feels strange or uncomfortable at first, that’s okay. You’re not doing it wrong, you are just

not used to being this kind to yourself.

Ask yourself gently:

Would I want someone I love to feel bad for needing rest? Would I expect her to be everything to everyone, all the time, without pause?

If not, then why would that be okay for you?

We can hold responsibility and still honor our limits. We can care deeply for others and still take up space in our own lives. In fact, we must.

So here’s your reminder: It’s okay to pause. It’s okay to care for yourself. That’s not selfish-

it’s wise.

Even a few minutes of mindfulness can make the difference between burnout and balance. You matter, too.